The scream heard round the world...

So this may not be the most riveting, thought-provoking post ever...but - one of my new favorite lines - "it is what it is!"  

I know today was not Halloween, but I certainly had a heart thumping moment happen when O and I got home!  Olivia and I proceeded through our normal routine, coming in through the garage, dropping off our stuff on the counter, and heading out the sliding glass door to go let the dogs out of the "side yard" (a.k.a. dog run but larger, more mansion-ish for our spoiled gurlz).  However, as I got to the slider, my inquisitive little girl spoke her most favorite words of late: "Whus dat???" and pointed under the dining room table.  She froze where she was, and started doing her "lizard" face, during which she repeatedly sticks out her tongue.  Like a lizard.  So...being "brave Mama" at the moment, I bent down for a peek at what had caught my daughter's attention, and low and behold, there, under the table on which we gather and eat, was a wriggly, FAST, six inch long, GREEN salamanderesque lizard.  It might not have been an actual salamander, but it was one of those ones that moves like a snake, back and forth in a spooky little "s" like motion.  Well, "brave Mama" quickly turned into "shrieky Mama", and I ran and grabbed Olivia and put her outside on the porch (because there are NO lizards out there, right?), out of "harms" way.  As I rolled up my pant legs (for fear that it might suddenly dash onto my feet and crawl up in there, of course), I asked Olivia to go get her "lizard catcher" (which, to another little girl whose mother shops at Pier One and also purchased one is a pretty, hot pink, delicate butterfly catcher...to our daughter, its for catchin' lizards!).  Wanting to help, she began to walk towards where it was laying.  As she approached her little net on a stick, she lost interest in Lyle Lizard, who was now behind a potted plant and creeping slowly towards the direction of the kitchen, when she noticed Polly Poopoo in her path (THANKS, CALIA).  I tried to coax her to go get it, as I did not want to take my eyes off that slimy little thing, but she would not go.  When she encounters poop, it's all over with and she becomes immobile.  So I ran out into the yard, in my heels, grabbed it, darted back into the house, and attempted to catch Lyle.  I corned him.  And then Lyle decided he was going to play hardball and curled up into this snakelike coil and start to hiss.  Yes, hiss.  I swear.  The hissing, albeit a pathetic attempt, added to my jumpiness, but I knew I had to resume the "brave Mama" face because Olivia was watching the science experiment unfold.  Eventually, I managed to get the lizard to crawl out the sliding glass door (after it eyed her nearby toy chest, but changed its mind, thank goodness).

From behind the brown paper, I'm sure the tree lovers behind us were nodding their heads at this point, agreeing with one another that blocking out that family of loud, crazy loons was the best idea they had ever come up with...

And then the story gets a bit sad for Lyle.  He ran under this ice chest we have on the patio, so I just left him, as I was fully creeped out.  But a little while later, for fear the dogs would eat him, I went back out and moved the ice chest to assess his position.  I was hoping he had left the scene, had a story to tell his lizard friends, and was eating a bug in someone else's yard.  FAR, FAR AWAY.

I ended up severing his tail in the movement of the ice chest.  As it flopped up and down, Lyle ran...and I dropped the ice chest back down.  I called Daniel and told him he was going to have to deal with it when he got home because I had had enough.  And I'm sure at this point the lizard had had enough of me.

It turns out to be even more sad for Lyle.  When Daniel came home and went to examine the lizard that had the power to make a usually very cool, calm, and collected individual that typically deals with smooshing bad spiders, picking up dog poop, watching children wipe boogers all over her classroom possessions, and cleaning out old food from the fridge (ya gotta love old beans) while wearing a smile and not being the least bit bothered, he found that when I had put the ice chest back down, Lyle had been underneath...and now he was no more.  What a way to go.  Although Lyle made me have a mild, yet highly spastic panic attack (anything reptilian will do the trick), I never wanted the poor little guy to die...I felt bad.

I just know I'm going to have nightmares tonight, and want to sleep with one eye open watching Olivia to make sure there are no Lyles near her while she has peaceful dreams...UGH!!!!!!!  I hope no lizard phantoms haunt me on Halloween, or anytime else for that matter...double UGH!!!!!!!